Holiday Gatherings Are a Time to Connect with Family

Whether it’s enjoying great food, exchanging gifts, or listening to festive music, holidays are the season for merry-making and a time of refreshment for the body and soul. It’s also a time to connect with family, especially much loved seniors. Celebrating a holiday in their home can open your eyes to the reality of where they are in their journey of aging. And more importantly, give you an opportunity to explore possible next steps - including moving to an assisted living community - that will help them live their lives to the fullest in the coming years.

Start the conversation about their future with a light topic, then turn to focus on your senior loved one’s thoughts about how and where they want to live in the years ahead. Let them set the pace which will help create a space for a real exchange of ideas. Issues of control and legacy are likely to arise in every conversation. Listen for them and respond with open-ended questions that gently:

• Emphasize your sincerity to hear and understand.
• Suggest ways for your loved one to maintain control and dignity.
• Acknowledge their wealth of experience and wisdom.
• Position yourself as an advocate for them and their priorities.
• Unite your family in the quest to find the right solution.
• Seek more than just facts but work to put them in situational and emotional context.
• End on an upbeat note that paves the way for the next healthy conversation.

When you are enjoying holiday gatherings with your senior at their home, be observant. While supporting your loved one’s desire for independence, do all you can to make sure they are safe, healthy, and enjoying their lives. With that in mind, keep an eye out for signs they may need a little additional help or are really struggling to navigate the challenges of a changing landscape:

• Housekeeping – If your loved one’s house looks more cluttered or is not as clean as it once was, it could mean they aren’t physically able to tidy up, dust, or vacuum. Or it could mean their eyesight has deteriorated to the point they can no longer see well enough to clean things up. In addition to an issue of sanitation and cleanliness, increased clutter can pose a serious tripping hazard.


• Home Environment – Take a look at their home’s layout. Do they have to climb stairs to get to their bedroom or the basement to do their laundry? Not being able to live on one single level can pose a variety of challenges and a danger of falling.


• Weight Loss or Gain – Loss of appetite can be a sign of a medical problem. Perhaps they are having trouble working the stove, can’t get to the grocery store often enough, or are simply forgetting to eat. Weight gain can also be caused by a medical problem. However, reaching for snacks could be a way of coping with depression. Ask them about their diet and eating habits to understand more.


• Food – Are you noticing spoiled food in the refrigerator or items way beyond their expiration date in the pantry? These are red flags that could indicate your senior is struggling.


• Hygiene – Have you noticed your senior has bad breath, body odor, or even sores? It may mean they need help with bathing or daily grooming.


• Wounds/Medical Needs – If your loved one always seems to have bruises or scrapes - especially on their head - it’s a cause for concern. It may mean they are experiencing falls due to poor balance, missed or wrong medications, or alcohol use. Are you seeing or suspect any other unmet medical needs?


• Medications – Are there bottles of expired or unused prescription or over the counter medications in their bathroom or medicine cabinet? It could be a sign they are forgetting to take them.


• Financial Irregularities – Is your senior forgetting to pay bills or keep up with household paperwork? Do they have piles of unopened mail? Have they made significantly unnecessary or unexplained purchases? They may have fallen victim to aggressive salesmen or scammers. It may be time to step in and help with some of their financial matters. Discuss which charities are important to them and ask to have their name removed from the mailing lists of the rest so they can be a better steward of their resources.


• Forgetfulness and Mood Changes – While only a neurologist can diagnose dementia, unusual changes in mood, like increased agitation, prolonged silences, or uncharacteristic behaviors as well as forgetfulness could point to a loss of cognitive abilities. If your loved one is experiencing any of these symptoms, encourage them to check in with their doctor.

Holiday gatherings are more than just a time to connect with your aging loved ones. They are a time to check in on how they are doing and having caring conversations about how they can best deal with the challenges of growing older.

MorningStar Senior Living — Assisted Living Community

If your loved one lives far from family and friends, it could be time to move into an assisted living community near their adult children where they’ll have the companionship of fellow seniors and a compassionate service team. At MorningStar Senior Living, a 24/7 team is dedicated to offering care and hospitality services that meet each resident’s social, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs.